When Grace Becomes Resistance
I am a creature of habit.
I park the car in the same place at the airport. I sit in the same spot at church.
I put the half and half in the door of the fridge, on the same shelf in the same spot. Facing the same way.
I am borderline OCD.
But these habits serve an important purpose.
When I was young, I thought that routines were for lemmings, for the unthinking. But I’ve come to see them as the opposite. They free me to think about things that are far more important than remembering if I’ve brushed my teeth or put on deodorant. They help me focus.
Until they don’t fit anymore.
Sometimes shaking things up can be a good thing. It’s good to see things a little differently, look at a problem from a different angle, get a new perspective.
But sometimes, it just takes a lot more energy to get through a day and figure out what to do next. That’s what the past few weeks have been.
Having been in my last job for 12.5 years, I followed more routines than I realized. They gave me the space to think more deeply about things that really required thought. What I underestimated was how much creative energy that bought me, and how unproductive I would be as I adjusted and developed new routines.
I am trying to give myself grace to develop the new routines and find a new schedule that works.
At the same time, I have to be on the lookout for the point at which “finding the new routine” becomes stalling.
Important projects are not making progress. Family priorities (like baking bread and being available to help with homework) haven’t come to fruition.
In The War of Art*
I have encouragers and supporters whom I respect, telling me that I AM good enough. People that I trust are trusting me.
It’s time to step up and prove that trust well-placed.
I used to help other people get stuff done for a living. I know how to do this. So it’s time to quit stalling, prioritize, and intentionally build a new routine that gets results.
What routines help you get the important things done? What do you do when they no longer apply? Leave a comment…
Photo Credit: hj_west (Creative Commons)
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About Christine
I am a writer, a project manager, and a corporate refugee with a heart for orphans around the world. My two daughters were adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. I post about writing, chasing dreams, and making a difference in the world, and sometimes I share fun snippets of fiction in-progress.
I am glad that you are giving yourself some grace. 12+ years in the same job with the routine is a long time to just instantly switch gears. Plus, you have been doing your job and living your dream on the side. That required crazy intensity, so you are probably overwhelmed with not having to do both anymore. That’s understandable and it’s okay!!
I’m reading Wisdom Meets Passion by Dan Miller right now. Last night I read “What do you need to quit in order to be productive?” He’s talking about focus and learning to prioritize what is really important and what you can quit. You’re most likely trying to figure that out as your whole world has turned upside down with the changes.
You can do it. I believe in you. Focus on what is most important now and give yourself some grace that you don’t have to do everything. I believe in you!
I’m trying the grace thing.
You hit the target…the *shift* in intensity is just really disorienting. Sounds like I need to pick up Wisdom Meets Passion!
I’d love to quit email. But i’m at least dramatically limiting facebook and twitter. I feel terrible about not keeping up with people I care about there, but for a short time at least, they’ve become black holes for me.
Thanks so much…your encouragement keeps me going!
Since I’m also borderline-OCD, I like the idea that having a routine frees you up to think about other things.
Oh, it totally does. I learned that when I was traveling every week. If I strayed even a little bit, I’d be a nervous wreck about forgetting something, and I’d leave stuff in my room or on the plane. Not a pretty sight.
You make several great observations.
I particularly agree that routines free you up. I used to think keeping lists was a burden until I realized they let me “forget” tasks temporarily. I can later review the list when I have time to actually do the task.
Good luck with your new routine.
I completely relate to how you use lists, Dean…my biggest problem was forgetting that I put them on a list, and then putting them on another list! 😉
…going on year #2 “fb-Free”…!
((Jacked my wife’s account twice during the holidays-just to see if I was missing anything…NOPE, those who TRUST & Love me = eMail Me)))
BTW…I’m So OCD that I’m ‘C-D-O’…>
NJOY U’r Halloween ^[^ ^*^ ^l^ *[*
There are times when I think FB-free might be great, but I use it to keep up with old friends as well as encouragers and even a writing course, so I have to learn the discipline to use it well and not let it consume me. Guess you could say that about a lot of things, right? Enjoy your Halloween, too!