How To Not Go Crazy
Writing used to relax me.
During our time in Ukraine, I woke up without an alarm clock. I made a cup of tea. I sat down and wrote.
and wrote.
and wrote.
I spewed words. I wrote about what happened the day before. I wrote where we went, what we ate. Sometimes I wrote a funny anecdote about a garbage truck or a crocodile bouncy-house.
I wasn’t trying to grow a platform or get blog traffic or launch a book. I was just relaxing and trying to reassure our parents that we were still alive. And let them see pictures of their granddaughters.
Those were some of the best days of my writing life. And I really, really sucked at writing.
The world has lied to us.
(Shocker, right?)
It’s told us that for something to matter–to be worth doing–we have to be epic at it.
And when we’re working as a pro, or when we’re teaching, or when we’re building a business or a dream, then yes, we have a responsibility to bring our best. We are called to grow.
But we also need space for our brains to rest. We need to relax. We need to chill. We need joy and peace.
We need the freedom to suck at something.
After I started getting serious about writing, my attitude changed. I started to analyze as I typed. It became work. Then it became the work I did for money.
All of a sudden, my peace-filled, life-giving passion became my job.
Side note: I’m living the dream. It’s a dream come true. It’s awesome, it’s amazing, it’s filled with joy. It rocks. Truly. I’m grateful.
BUT I am also finding that what used to relax me is now work. It’s hard. There’s an expectation of quality.
I have no hobby. I just have hustle.
Despite what we say, we don’t value rest.
But…your brain can’t run at the redline forever. (Tweet that.)
You’ll stop sleeping well. Your blood pressure will rise. Insomnia will set in.
You’ll get sick. You’ll get a little crazy. (I know I am.)
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Instead of always striving for awesome in every part of your life, find one thing you enjoy doing, and suck at it.
Seriously.
Pick something that looks fun. Maybe it’s golf. Maybe it’s knitting. Or playing the guitar. Maybe it’s writing.
Do NOT work hard to try to get better. Do NOT analyze or drill or practice or debrief. Just give yourself the grace to have something in your life that isn’t hard work.
There doesn’t have to be a trophy. Just enjoy being awful.
What do you suck at? Leave a comment…
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About Christine
I am a writer, a project manager, and a corporate refugee with a heart for orphans around the world. My two daughters were adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. I post about writing, chasing dreams, and making a difference in the world, and sometimes I share fun snippets of fiction in-progress.
Great reminder. Running is that thing for me. I’m slow as turtle and it used to really bother me, but not anymore. I enter and run races just for the fun of it. I have no desire to do it competitively or to be the best and I don’t waste time beating myself up for not being that great at it…that would take the joy out of it.
That sounds blissful, Eileen. I am in love with the idea of running, but I’m just not motivated enough to actually do it!
Rest? Take a break from writing – and make it fun again? Are you crazy?!
😉
This is a GREAT post, Christine! I’m taking it to heart.
Thanks Mike. The break from personal writing has really helped me focus.
What do I suck at? Being organized…but I’ve come to realize I’m OK with that. I try to improve where I can and then I just rest in the knowledge that there are other things I am good at it and some things I’m great at!
Lisa, there’s a LOT you’re great at. And you have so much fun doing it, even when it’s hard…You inspire me!
I suck at a great many things — golf, running, crocheting. I have always convinced myself that I should only do things that I excel at, or am at least decent at. This definitely limits my experiences, and keeps me in fifth gear all the time. Thanks for the reminder to slow down and just have fun.
Chris, I don’t know a crochet hook from a knitting needle. Enjoy.
I think I must be doing well, because I suck at many things.
It’s just good that we don’t suck at the same things.
The hard part is enjoying them.
I suck at spending time with God in prayer and in the Word. During the school year, when I’m in a serious Bible study, I am ok because I have a set goal of getting x-number of questions answered per day. But when Bible study is in hiatus I think I have to find some way of coming us with fabulous insights on my own, so I procrastinate and end up doing nothing. I feel freed now to suck at it and just read and let the Holy Spirit work in me. It’s definitely better than nothing and takes a lot of the pressure off!
Amy, I’m so glad God doesn’t keep score. The pressure we put on ourselves is not what He wants for us. Be free and just relax in Him when you need the break.
This is something I am actively working—giving myself the grace to suck. But unfortunately, I suck at THAT, most of all!!! I have been working on it, and it is a very slow process. But two steps forward and one step back is still progress!
Great post, as always, Christine!
I suck at not being ok when I suck at something.
Yeah, Linda, we still need to work on that one…. BE OK.
It’s ironic, isn’t it? You’re hardest on yourself, but you’ve managed to do what so many others can only wish about. You’re awesome.
And for anyone that doesn’t know Scott, he and his wife wiped out $100,000 in debt and he’s published an ebook called “100 ways to save $1,000” to help get people started on Baby Step #1: building up an emergency fund. Check it out.
I love this! I suck at life, does that count?? Maybe I should practice my harp more.
Love you!
Ha. We all suck at life to a certain extent. We ARE human, you know. And I would love to hear you suck at playing the harp next time I’m in town!
I know I’m discrediting myself here by quoting Homer Simpson, but we’re “the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!”
Um… you don’t suck at life. 😉
But I do want to hear your sucky harp.
Love this! I love that running and yoga are two things I do bc I love them and not bc there is any external scale of ability I’m striving for. Great thoughts- thanks for sharing!
Yoga is one I keep thinking about trying. I bought a DVD…does that count??
You’re not a little crazy. You’re a lot crazy. 😉 You’re also crazy because you can abandon your blog for six months and still get 20 comments. What the heck? Teach me your ways, oh master.
And I need to work on finding something to intentionally suck at. I keep inadvertently finding things I suck at that I want to rock…
Surprised me as much as it did you, my dear! Clearly, i also suck at keeping up and seeing all the comments!
As for finding something…You have to suck before you can rock (Yeah..tweet THAT!). But you suck less than you think you do. Far less.
This spoke to me directly!! “your brain can’t run at the redline forever.” “I don’t have hobby. I have hustle” TRUTH!!! I’m going to find something to suck at and enjoy it!!! thank you for this.
Glad you’re looking for the space to rest. Your calling is too important to burn out halfway there. Set YOUR pace and be ok with it.