River of Thoughts

Christine Royse Niles — Changing the world one word at a time

Watch What You Say (Because YOU Are Listening)

This is a guest post from Barry Kerzner. Barry shares experience, strength, and hope at his blog, It’s your Awesome. He writes about various recovery issues, and chasing your dreams because you do deserve to succeed! He also creates “Photoart” and you can visit his Portfolio here. You can also follow him on Twitter @itsyourawesome.

 

The best thing about recovery is that it works when you work at it.

It really doesn’t matter what you are recovering from. (If you live with someone in recovery, if you love someone in recovery, then you are in recovery too!)

Alcohol and/or substance abuse, gambling, physical abuse, mental abuse, divorce, serious illness, co-dependency; honestly, it doesn’t matter.

Recovery is often a long, and mostly difficult process, filled with challenges.

Challenges require effort. What makes our accomplishments so satisfying to us are the obstacles we overcome.

*Photo Credit: “Brooklyn Bridge” by Barry Kerzner Image is ©Kerzner 2004

 

It’s Really A Bridge

Like any bridge, recovery is made up of many cables, all working together, and each dependent on the others to give strength to the whole.

There are broken and damaged relationships, lost opportunities, old playmates and playgrounds, crazy sleep habits and patterns. There is apprehension. There is a lack of trust in yourself, and others. There is a sense of what has been lost and “what could have been.” There is an overriding sense of caution as we learn and relearn how to conduct various aspects of our daily lives. And where would our daily lives be without all the drama?

But wait: Aren’t those all negatives?

You cannot go back and relive or undo the past. Much as we would like, that just isn’t not an option.

It is said, “Experience is the best teacher.” The past is our experience. Recovery is not about undoing or trying to change the past. It is about learning from the past. Each one of us has a treasure trove of lessons available to us in our past experiences.

Learning is a positive thing. When we repurpose things, we make them better. Recovery is about repurposing our lives. Each new day gives us a chance to not make the same mistakes and poor choices we have made in the past. This very action frees us from the bondage of the past, and the damage we left behind.

The Common Thread Is You

To make better choices now, healthy choices, we have to be our best advocate. The biggest catalyst in our recovery is what we tell ourselves. The first voice that reaches our ears is our own.

And what a powerful voice it is!

We cannot give power to the negative voices that want us to go backward. Those voices would still have us in our old state.

We must tell ourselves that we have worth. We must tell ourselves that we deserve a happy, healthy life. We do tell ourselves that we will succeed. We should be doing this every day. If we do not believe in us, who will? Make your recovery a strong bridge from your past to your future.

So: Be careful what you say, because YOU are listening.

 

 

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About Christine

I am a writer, a project manager, and a corporate refugee with a heart for orphans around the world. My two daughters were adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. I post about writing, chasing dreams, and making a difference in the world, and sometimes I share fun snippets of fiction in-progress.

2 Replies

  1. wow, barry! excellent post! it ain’t easy but you’re so right that every choice we make in life is up to us. each day we have the opportunity to make the same choices or new, better ones. been kinda up and down lately. i really needed to read this. thank you.

  2. Glad you enjoyed the piece and found it helpful Tim. Thanks again for your comment sir!

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