Plan B

Monday 28 May

After our first trip back to the apartment about a week ago, Sveta had told us that we were encouraged to spend more time outside, and that we needed to wait a little while before scheduling another “at home” day. A few days ago, she told us that it would be OK again. So today, we had planned to spend some Niles Family Time together at our apartment making lunch, working on English, playing some games and generally hanging out.

We started the day at Amstor and got a cartload of groceries, as well as the second Harry Potter DVD (in Russian, of course). We found everything we wanted except for pancake syrup, so we considered the trip a success until we got in line. We will never again complain about the intellectually challenged checkout personnel at Meijer!! If any of you catch me doing this, just say “Remember Amstor” and I’ll shut my mouth tight!

Mark knew something was wrong when he left me in line so he could go get the DVD, and I was in exactly the same place when he came back. The store was very busy, and all the lines were long, but they seemed to be moving well…except for ours. Once we got up to the front we realized why. Even though the main scanner appeared to work, the checkout girl seemed to have no concept that it could be used unless something accidentally scanned as she picked it up (which happened a couple of times).

The conveyor was to her right. She would reach across and pick up an item with her left hand, slowly and deliberately locate the barcode on the item, then pick up the hand scanner with her right hand, scan the item, set down the scanner, send the item on down to us to be bagged, and then start on the next one. Even when we had four of the same thing, this happened each time.

It took us 25 minutes to get through the line.

Once done, we quickly ran back to the apartment, unloaded the groceries into the fridge/freezer and ran back down so we could meet Sveta at the orphanage around 12. We arrived at the orphanage to learn that we would not be allowed to bring Masha back to the apartment because of some concerns that neighbors might see us with her. It is VERY unusual for us to spend as much time as we have with the kids and to take them off orphanage grounds; most families are allowed to spend an hour or two a day with their child at the orphanage, and they usually aren’t given any access to even see any of the other children, let alone play with them. This orphanage is very special and very committed to helping us develop bonds with the kids, but they are also concerned that they don’t encounter any problems because they are doing things differently from how they are usually done.

We didn’t have a backup plan for how to spend the day, and I got a little annoyed about having my “project assumptions” turned upside down like that (perhaps I should have written a Statement of Work for our visits?). And then Sveta asks us “So what do you want to do?” We are quickly learning that our options are: 1) Eat Lunch, 2) Go to the Park, or 3) Go get ice cream. We decided to go to the cafeteria with Lisa and Fred, and then to split up for a while.

We discovered that Lisa had done some great preparation of English lessons so we quickly jumped onto their bandwagon, and did a little bit of English as we were finishing up lunch. We worked on some basic emotion words like “happy,” “sad,” “confused,” and “frustrated.” We moved over to the park that just a couple of blocks away, and continued with a little bit more English. Masha was pretty pouty and resistant, but went along with it while the other kids were there….We are learning that English (and studying in general, probably) is going to be one our biggest challenges with her. She commented later that she wasn’t good in school and that she thought she couldn’t learn it. She seems to be very much like me…if she doesn’t get something quickly, she gets frustrated and angry at it, but if she does get it quickly, she rocks through it and is bored. Finding a balance of challenging her, but setting her up for success will be, um, an opportunity for us and her teachers….(insert seasoned parental advice here, please???)

We also had on the plan for the day to go shoe shopping. A few days before, Masha had requested some sandals with a heel strap that she would be able to run in, so we had arranged with Sveta to go shopping. Masha was in quite the unpleasant mood by the time we got to the store, but I’m actually glad that she was pouty and that shopping didn’t change that. It showed her that we don’t buy things for her just when she’s nice, and it also showed that shopping for things isn’t supposed to “cheer you up” or buy love and sweetness. An odd opportunity, but still an opportunity.

We had arranged to spend some time with just the three of us at the park, and we got back there about the time that Lisa and Fred and their girls were leaving. When Masha learned that her friends were leaving and that Sveta wouldn’t be staying with us either, she toppled over the edge. She sat on the park bench in her new shoes and stared straight ahead with tears streaming down her face. This is sooo hard for her. She is used to having other kids around 24/7, and she is totally out of her comfort zone, as are we.

We found an open spot and tried to play a little bit to get a smile out of her, and after a few minutes, she asked to watch a little bit of a video on the computer. We found a shaded bench, and watched 20 minutes of Toy Story 2 (in English). That seemed to give her enough time to calm down a little, and she had a better attitude when we returned to our little clearing to play catch. We tried to reinforce some verbs, like “catch,” “throw,” and “drop” (Mama showed many good examples of drop!) while playing, and while she wouldn’t repeat the words, she did start smiling.

We all returned to the orphanage a little early so we could play with all the kids and the girls grabbed the cameras and took kitten pictures. As we left, Mark said to Masha “I am sorry you were sad today,” and she replied “It’s OK” and gave him a big hug. I guess she’s just 12!

We left, and went to Papa Karlos to get a bite to eat, check email, and upload the past couple of days blog entries, but just as I was logging in to post, the internet connection went down. Typical! When it became clear that it wasn’t coming back up, we said goodbye to Fred and Lisa and headed back to the apartment.