Family is…whatever it is
We’ve been blessed.
Through our two adoption journeys, we’ve been fortunate enough (or oblivious enough) to not have been subjected to many of the odd things that random strangers seem compelled to say.
- Is she yours?
- What happened to her real family?
- Ukraine? Is that in Africa?
Yes, people say things like that. Many of our friends have heard far worse.
People seem to want to focus on the differences. People struggle with things they don’t understand.
We claim to want unity and profess to accept everyone…but only if they are just like us.
People think of family as the people that share your genetics.
Sorry, that’s crap.
Family is not about how or where someone is born. It’s not about differences. It’s not about pointing out things that we disagree with, putting people down, protesting or condemning their choices, ignoring their circumstances. Family is commitment. Family is respect.
Family is about who God puts together to live and love and stick together forever, no matter what happens. He introduces us. He makes us for each other. He didn’t say that only people of a certain color or genetic makeup or who like the same band should be family.
I have step-parents. They are as much my family as my biological parents.
Steps, halfs, inlaws, bio kids, adopted kids. All family.
Every one of us is adopted into God’s family. Chosen.
He is Father that each of us yearns for…a Father to forgive us our mis-steps, to teach us how to make healthier choices, how to get along, how to deal with conflict. How to be good parents. How to help our kids heal.
Being a family is not just a state of being. it’s a verb. it’s a choice.
What is your favorite thing about your family? Leave a comment…
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About Christine
I am a writer, a project manager, and a corporate refugee with a heart for orphans around the world. My two daughters were adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. I post about writing, chasing dreams, and making a difference in the world, and sometimes I share fun snippets of fiction in-progress.
Being a family is a verb. That is awesome.
Our Father forgives our mis-steps, as we forgive the mis-steps of our family members. Sometimes—most times actually, it’s easy to forgive our family, but difficult to understand how God can forgive us just as easily. Why is that?
BTW, who the heck would have the audacity to ask “Is she yours?” That’s just plain weird. I can’t believe that has happened to you more than once.
That reminds me of a time at my in-laws church, when a friend of my in-laws looked at Kathy’s engagement ring and said, “Don’t worry, honey. He’ll get you a nice ring once you guys have money.” She replied, “we didn’t want to spend a lot. I’m not into spending thousands on a diamond. I don’t care about that stuff. It’s what the ring symbolizes, not the size of the rock.”
She walked off and said, “he’ll get you a nicer one someday.”
People are just plain goofy sometimes. And I say “goofy” because I’m trying to be nice.
oh. my. goodness. Someone really said that to her??????? Wow. Yes, I think that agreeing to use “goofy” is a wonderful idea!
And then there are some who truly are goofy, in the most fun and amazing way…and those are the ones i choose to life in the same house with!
Love your question about why it is so hard to understand how easy it is for God to forgive us. I got no answer for that one!