Adoption Resources

Just starting out??

We’ve participated in several Adoption Q&A sessions, and we find that for people just beginning their adoption journey, the three top questions are:

Where should I start?

It depends…the first questions to consider are the age range, ethnicity, and any special needs that you are willing to open your home to.  Endless questions fly around you and it’s hard to develop answers and a strategy without understanding many of the implications.   The best place we’ve found to start:

• Loving Shepherd Ministries – free confidential onine survey to help guide you through some of the key questions at the beginning of you adoption journey and  help you narrow your choices to the ones most suited to your family needs and adoption goals.  They also have done extensive research about many agencies.  While they will not *recommend* a particular agency, they are able to share impartial evaluations of each agency’s operations and financial stability.

How much will it cost?

It depends…it can cost as little as practically nothing, and as much as $50,000 or more.

• Julie Gumm’s Adopt Without Debt is one of the most comprehensive guides to creative financing options to cover adoption costs.  In addition to sharing her own adoption story, Julie shares details about how to get the most cash by selling stuff, how to run an effective fundraiser, how to find grants, etc. She blogs and maintains links on her website, too.

How long will it take?

It depends…a few months to several years.

Some families going through the local foster system can have a placement within a few months, some families with specific requirements and committed to a specific country have waited several years.

In general, the more flexible you can be, the more options you’ll have to reduce the waiting time and cost, but ultimately, it’s all in God’s hands.  The most important thing is to prayerfully understand your limitations, and feel no guilt about setting boundaries around what you *can’t* deal with.

Waiting for your referral?

Engage in Community

Connect with other waiting families

Connect with other adoptive families

Read a million blogs

Prepare yourself

Learn about your future child(ren)’s culture

Understand the risk factors common in your child(ren)’s area of origin.  Is malnutrition common?  Is prenatal care available?  is alcohol or drug use common?  Read as much as you can and build a support system of people and resources before you need them.

Educate yourself about attachment and building trust with your new child(ren).  You will be looking toward the placement/adoption with great anticipation and joy, but remember that your child is coming from a difficult place, and is dealing with fear and loss.  Furthermore, they’re landing in unfamiliar territory.  Imagine that you’re dropped in an unfamiliar place with total strangers, who often speak a different language…it’s hard enough as an adult, but them imagine being a child..all on your own!  Be sensitive to that!

• The Connected Child (and accompanying Christian study guide, Created to Connect)
• Beyond Consequences Logic and Control
• Building the Bonds of Attachment

Home with your new family member(s)?

Get support

Seriously.  you can’t do this alone.  and while parenting is parenting, parenting adopted kids is DIFFERENT.  Get connected to a small group or at least find one or two other adoptive families who have similar circumstances or world views to yours.  No family is perfect, and no one does everything *right*, but chances are that someone else has dealt with the things you’re dealing with.  Or that you’re going to deal with.  Find them.  Meet them.  Befriend them.  Learn from them….and in return, they’ll learn from you, too!

Keep learning

read blogs, read books, attend seminars….

Share your blessings

Connect with families in the early stages, mentor a family just starting their journey, encourage a waiting family, support a family just home with a new family member.  Give back.

Everyone, i know this page is painfully thin on details, information, resources.  My goal over the next several months is to dig into a lot of these areas, and to invite people a lot smarter than me to help me speak more comprehensively about many of these topics.  I encourage you to add to the conversation…ask questions, share answers.  Just like High School Musical, we’re all in this together.