Surreality

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

The sun seems brighter here, and we are generally waking up on our own shortly before the alarm sounds. This morning, I made some tea and read a bit before tidying things up and setting off on another day’s adventure.

I did find that I was very irritable this morning…or I should say Mark found out. I think that although we’re settling into a routine, I’m having a little trouble adjusting to not having control over what’s going on. Add to that the anxiety of becoming a new parent, but not really being able to start parenting for real yet…I feel like I have a rent-a-kid for a few hours a day.

We are in a strange state of suspended reality on one side of Masha’s dual lives. I can only imagine how challenging it is for her to balance the familiarity of orphanage life with the combination of hope and fear of her new life with us. Piled onto that the fact that our time together is generally with another family and with our facilitator, and is packed with eating out and playing…not a solid indicator of “real life.”

I wouldn’t give up this time with Masha for all the tea in China (or Ukraine!) but it’s still very surreal. I can’t wait to get back home and settle in, but I also am terrified of it. I know that God will give me the strength and the wisdom that is beyond my experience, just has He has all along…but it’s scary nonetheless.

So….this morning we set off to walk to the Internet café. It’s not really a bad walk, and there are several shops and street vendors set up between here and there. We had a leisurely stroll up there, and it took us about 20 minutes. It’s nice to know that we have a little bit more freedom, and that we don’t have to depend on our drivers for everything.

We spent about 30 minutes online, and about halfway in, we thought we heard English being spoken further down the row of computers. A couple of minutes later, two young women left their computers, and as they passed by, they asked if we were Americans. We stopped and talked to them for a few minutes before meeting our driver to go to the orphanage.

It only took us about 45 minutes of waiting around before we got to lunch today, and we went to the Vivat Time cafeteria. The girls had to be back by 3:30 for dance practice, so they were only allowed to eat soup at lunch. After lunch, we took them to the park in the center of town to play for a little bit before we took them back.

Like the park yesterday, this one had two big blowup bouncy things, but they were much more elaborate. One of them was called “Savanna” and had a big slide, and a palm tree that the kids could climb and jump off, and it also had the big crocodile like the one at yesterday’s park At 10 grivna ($2), it seemed a little expensive, but the thing was pretty cool.

After bouncing like crazy for the allotted 10 minutes (more like 15 minutes), the girls migrated over to the little playground, where they climbed around and played on the swings. Mark and Fred spun them around on the little spinning merry-go-round-like-thing (what are those things called anyway??), then Mark and Fred got on and the girls spun them around on it until the self-proclaimed Playground Policewoman, a little old babushka, came over and sternly told them that it was for children only….

We took the girls back in time for dance class, and sent them back in with cookies and chocolates, and juice, and gum to share with their friends. The girls gave us big hugs goodbye and then ran in for practice, and we headed back to the apartment for a nap and a quiet evening.