Goodbye, my love
Last week, I broke up with Resistance.
It was a very public breakup. It should have been on the cover of Us magazine.
In an effort to gain sympathy and support, and probably to shame Resistance a little more than is really mature, I posted a break-up letter (in the comments) at The Write Practice.
Resistance didn’t take the breakup like a man.
He knows that throwing things wouldn’t really get him very far. Instead, he played on my sympathy. He called me asking very detailed questions about how to separate lights from darks when he does laundry. Whether that new red shirt could go in with the white load.
I told him yes, yes it could.
I’m sometimes not very nice.
“What?” you ask. “I thought you were married to Mark? Who is this ‘Resistance’ guy?”
Thank you for asking…
Resistance has been courting me for years.
He throws parties for me. He makes movies like Transformers and Iron Man 3. Resistance loves to watch House Hunters International.
He wins me over, catches me in his web of distraction and selfishness. He tricks me into trusting him with a key.
Once trusted, Resistance sneaks further into the cracks of my life. He hides in the security of working long hours for extra cash or promotions. He lurks in the kids’ social schedules and extracurricular activities.
He creeps around my house, stows away in my car, follows me through security at the airport.
Resistance bullies me. He wraps me in a cloak of insecurity. He tells me I can’t, or I shouldn’t, or that I suck.
Resistance stands between me and God. Between me and God’s plans for me.
The worst thing of all?
Resistance is a player. I am not his only love.
Resistance is the force that stops every one us from chasing our dreams, from creating art through words or brushes or guitars, from creating beauty through teaching or learning or leading.
Resistance woos every one of us. He knows our weak spots. Resistance invented Facebook.
You don’t have to be a “creative” to be vulnerable to his charms. You just have to have a goal.
- Want to lose ten pounds? Resistance will bake you a birthday Piecaken.
- Want to run a marathon? Resistance will trip you and twist your ankle.
- Want to get out of debt? Resistance will break the timing belt on your car.
Life is easy when Resistance is in charge, when he’s calling the shots. It’s comfortable. But there’s more to life than comfort.
- There’s love.
- There’s joy.
- There’s serving and expecting nothing in return.
Resistance isn’t so much a fan of those things. And when you start to find a dream, when you start to step out of your comfort zone…that’s when Resistance notices you like a tall blonde at Comic-Con.
He will charm you.
He will entertain you.
He will ply you with amazing food and wine and chocolates.
Don’t believe him.
I’ll tell you the same thing I tell my daughters: “That boy is only after one thing.”
It’s time to break up.
What does Resistance woo you with? Leave a comment….
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About Christine
I am a writer, a project manager, and a corporate refugee with a heart for orphans around the world. My two daughters were adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. I post about writing, chasing dreams, and making a difference in the world, and sometimes I share fun snippets of fiction in-progress.
I love this! Have you read War of Art? That book and “Do The Work” by Pressfield pretty much changed how I think of creativity.
I think just having a name for these distractions gives some of the power back to us. For years, all these distractions, fears and doubts probably have been called writer’s block, but all of it really is resistance.
I’ve read War of Art in bits and pieces. I just got it on my Kindle and committed to go straight through it… you make a great point about naming it. you’re right. Thanks for inspiring me to name him and then break up with him!
I love this, I love this, I love this! P.S. I think “Resistance” has been cheating on you with me, because he comes around this way a little too often, too! ;D Great post, Christine!
Heh…Yeah, he’s definitely a player!
Gosh, now all I can think about is eating a piecaken. There goes the 10lbs I was trying to lose.
Uh oh…all i can think about is making one. i will not make a piecaken. i will not make a piecaken.
ok, now i have to ask…what exactly is a piecaken?
Love the post, by the way. Goes great with the topic of my new series on doubt…I think self-doubt is the biggest form of Resistance that I deal with…
Oh…you MUST follow the link above. Piecaken is the decadent dessert which bakes a full pie right into the middle of a cake. I discovered the concept of Piecaken right about the time the whole household started a new diet, so I have yet to try to make one…and I WANT to!
As for self-doubt…I hear you on that one, too! it’s so insidious and so easy to buy into…that’s why we all have to band together and encourage each other!
Oh. My. Goodness. I somehow totally missed the reference in the post (probably had something to do with the 2 year old running around while I was reading it!).
That is amazing…but totally not on South Beach. May have to try that once i hit goal weight & am allowed sweets again! 
You are all safe this week and next. Murphy is in Sarasota these days.
Our family is going to be debt free March 22nd. Yes, Murphy stopped by to sell girl scout cookies last week, so our “debt-free” date got pushed back 2 weeks.
Our date is not the only thing pushing back! We are holding that creep off with a stick.
It’s amazing how finances are not the only setbacks and distractions we face with Resistence. These days, for me, it is in the form of two screaming children that will not go to bed…2 hours after I need to. Writing is suffering greatly.
In fact, this is my first form of writing in four days!
Thank you, Christine, for addressing this jerk head-on!
I would not wish for our safety at your expense, my friend! Especially since Resistance shows up to you so often in the form of *expense*!
As for kids and bedtime, I’m thinking we all should set Resistance on the guy who thought up Daylight Savings time! Do your video blog in the car on the commute??
No, no! We didn’t endulge in Girl Scout cookies, per say. I was just using a visual as how Murphy (brother of Resistence) will try any tactic to knock on our door and get us to open it!
Bad reference, I guess. Although, we are suckers for Somoas!
I wondered how many boxes of cookies could mess you up that badly!!! 😉
I was actually thinking about your air conditioning conundrum…and how often Resistance is working to make you spend money to keep you from your debt-free scream. Expense with emphasis. Not expense with quotes.
Sorry for not being clearer!
Thin Mints here…all the way.
You are a GENIUS! I love the video blog idea for the trip and the debt-free scream! We’ll have to use our “old” 2.8 Mpixel camera, though.
We’re not going to buy a new camera for the trip, that’s for sure!
Thanks for the great idea!
Christine,
Next time you hear from this Resistance guy please tell him that I’ve moved to the Ukraine… and I’ll do the same for you. Tricky one that R is, but if we all band together with our amazing God we can overcome whatever temptation he wants to put in front of us… me? It’s peanut butter for sure!
I like that offer, Chris. But tell him that we’re in Antarctica or something. The chances of us actually being in Ukraine are too high for me!
mmmm…peanut butter. How about a PB&J Piecaken? Concord grape pie, yellow cake, peanut butter whipped icing? I am SO hungry!
Great one, Chrisrine! I’m kinda distracted by the piecaken. What an amazing concept! That & Facebook. I mean, if you really think about it what else is there?!
Yeah, that piecaken about made all my arteries explode. But it’s great for SEO. 😉