The Toilet Whisperer
As part of the 15 Habits Of Great Writers Challenge, I’ve was dared last week to been to practice in public–to post something here like nothing I’ve ever posted before.
Now, Jeff has dared us to “Start Ugly.”
This means that I need to confess something to you. What you normally see here? That’s not how it starts. Thoughts don’t typically come pouring out of me like a beautiful flowing river (nor do they end up looking like that, either). They look a lot more like a Class 6 rapids. Messy. Doubling back on themselves. Lots of rocks.
Then I edit. A lot.
I currently have 56 pieces in my “To Edit” folder. That’s a lot of ugly.
So today, I picked one. Here it is.
The Toilet Whisperer
We had an incident.
We need a toilet whisperer to help our toilet understand that the proper direction for liquid to flow is down. Like with gravity. Perhaps Sir Isaac Newton is available? They say social networking is key…Does anyone know him? Have him on Linked In?
No?
Crap.
Well, not really crap.
The other.
And while it was highly diluted, I’m a bit of a borderline germaphobe. So to me, this was like an elephant lumbered into our master bathroom and whizzed 9 gallons of his concentrated business on my tile floor.
Not. Enough. Bleach. In. The. World.
I bleach-soaked the floors twice, with a double rinse for good measure. then bleached the raggedy towels we used to soak it all up. And the tub where the towels landed once they were soaked. and any other surface within reach.
My bathroom has never been cleaner.
There is no lesson in here. Just a pronouncement that the Niles household is far from perfect.
Are you a germaphobe? Leave a comment.
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About Christine
I am a writer, a project manager, and a corporate refugee with a heart for orphans around the world. My two daughters were adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. I post about writing, chasing dreams, and making a difference in the world, and sometimes I share fun snippets of fiction in-progress.
This isn’t ugly – I mean sure, the subject matter is, but the writing is great! Witty, concise, punchy. Fair enough, there’s no deep life lesson drawn out of it, but as writing its beautiful!
Don’t put yourself down!
Jennie, you’re too sweet. I see that I use way too many fragments, and I don’t seem to know where my shift key is!
Oh my goodness, can’t believe you wrote this Christine… love it!!
Yes, a germaphobe for sure, I’m in the club!!
To be honest, Chris, without the challenge from Jeff, I never would have posted this! I need more Purell just thinking about it!
What a hoot! Oh, yes, call out the bleach patrol.
Christine, this is good writing on a roll. Thanks for the laugh today.
Thanks…it was truly horrifying, but I’m so glad to be laughing about it now!
LOL. I love your toilet story. Very funny. Great job!
Turning it into laughter took a little bit of effort! Glad it brightened your day.
Niles! I think we spoke later that day. Now I understand why you felt like “don’t touch me”. (Usually, you feel like a great big hug.) Still love your stuff!
Yes, we did. I was scared to touch my phone or my keyboard, and I kept sniffing my fingers to remind myself how much bleach I had used. Trust me, you did not want a hug from me that day!
And the really fun things was this all happened when I stepped out of the shower. Ick!
But you mobilized quickly to solve the problem. And for that, I am forever grateful.