River of Thoughts

Christine Royse Niles — Changing the world one word at a time

Fiction Friday: Sinkhole

Fiction Friday is back. I’m gearing up for Camp NaNoWriMo in April, and pulled this little scene out to play around with.
sinkhole

Photo credit: Happy Days Photos and Art (creative commons)

Jody felt the seatbelt pull tight against his chest and hips. His body’s momentum continued forward against the belt; he heard a low scream as the car fell backward, the undercarriage scraping hard against the pavement.

His view of the road ahead tilted up, the car’s windshield framed the bright sun, surrounded by a few puffy clouds.  Where’s the road? His mind fell just a beat behind reality.

He snapped back in his seat when the car’s tail hit the bottom of the hole.  Jagged pavement, torn re-bar, and broken glass now framed the bright blue sky. Jody whipped his gaze to Jen, dozing in the passenger seat just seconds before. Now she stared toward him, eyes wide, breath frozen.

Feeling her panic, he fumbled with her seatbelt latch, releasing her, and them himself. Gravity held their bodies against the seat backs, and Jody struggled to pull himself up through the shattered windshield.

He climbed up the hot hood, and folded his waist over the car’s grill to lean down and reach for Jen’s hand, but she wasn’t reaching back. Her eyes flitted back and forth, struggling to make sense of what she couldn’t see.  She tried to reach her hand out toward Jody’s distant voice, but her muscles didn’t respond.

Jody heard the sirens in the distance.  It’s now or never, he thought. He looked at Jen and knew that she needed more help than he could give her. She would be better off if the paramedics found her.  She clearly couldn’t run with him; she wouldn’t survive the night in the cold desert.

He scrambled back down to the bottom of the hole and pulled a backpack through the back window, stuffing as much as he could into its gaping mouth. He paused, leaning across the broken glass of Jen’s window, and kissed her on the forehead.  “I’m sorry, babe.  I can’t let them find me here, but they’ll take care of you…”

And then he ran.

 

Why is Jody running? And what will happen to Jen? Leave a comment…

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About Christine

I am a writer, a project manager, and a corporate refugee with a heart for orphans around the world. My two daughters were adopted from Ukraine at ages 12 and 14. I post about writing, chasing dreams, and making a difference in the world, and sometimes I share fun snippets of fiction in-progress.

15 Replies

  1. Love it, Christine! I want to know more. Looking forward to Camp NaNo next month!

    1. Christine

      Thanks! Guess I’d better get to work!

  2. Christine! This is really great. I want to know why Jody is running (and what happens to Jen!) What’s he stuffing in the bag? Money? Makes me wonder. Definitely continue this one. Great description of the car, too!

    1. Christine

      Oooh, I hadn’t thought maybe he was stuffing money in the bag…I’ll have to ask him!

  3. Crystal Sponseller

    Could they be on a mission that is anti government but for the greater good? Do they need to smuggle something out that would save a political prisoner? Hmmm. My curiosity is totally piqued.

    1. Christine

      Oooh, interesting angles!

  4. Oh my GOSH!!! Christine, I’m breathless after reading this. My heart is racing, and I’m hungry to read more. Wow. Great job – this is what flash fiction is all about.

    1. Christine

      Wow, thanks!! Maybe people can read my stories as an alternative to cardio at the gym? 😉

  5. Love this Christine:) You left us on a hook ~ can’t wait to see what happens next…

    1. Christine

      I can’t wait either! :)

  6. I’ve always loved the concept of FF. One, it gives the writer a break from the regular (if there is such a thing) blog posts, 2) it’s a treat for the readers, and 3) it;s always fascinating as a writer to see where a writer goes with a prompt. I’ve never participated in the Camp Nano, the November sit in, yes. Good luck.

    1. Christine

      Thanks for stopping by, Brenda! I agree…I love doing Fiction Friday!!

  7. Dean

    Another great piece of fiction.
    The buildup is well structured and the unanswered questions make for a great ending. Thanks for sharing.

  8. Wow! You left me wanting a lot more!

    ~ Denise (fellow TWer)

    1. Christine

      Thanks, Denise!!

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