Adoption

Does anyone remember the JCPenney Catalog?  In The Days Before The Internet?

When I was a kid, I invested hours circling items that I wanted.

The catalog was as big as a phone book and showed a picture of every thing that had ever been made. If it existed, it was available in that catalog. And I circled it.

My family went to church, and I knew Christmas was about Jesus’ birthday.  But it was also about the stuff.  Sneaking down to get my stocking before anyone else was up.  Finding millions of gifts piled under the tree.  Peeking at the one gift that couldn’t be wrapped…the one Dad stayed up all night to assemble.

I didn’t say a lot of thank-you’s to my parents for all the stuff.

As a teen, Christmas became a lot of work.

Singing in the Youth Choir, robing up for acolyte duty, helping the old people.  Advent services.  Sunday Services.  Four Christmas Eve services.  Christmas Morning service.  With the church in our backyard, we worked all of them.

I didn’t hear a lot of thank-you’s from God for all the chipping in.

After I moved out on my own, Christmas changed again.

I broke up with God, and His birthday struck me as an annoyance.  A time to juggle travel and visits to family for the purpose of fighting with them.  They hated whatever boyfriend I brought home (in hindsight, they weren’t exactly wrong).  I hated having to go to every church service offered when I figured it was all a lie.

I didn’t see a lot of reason to thank God for the mess my life was in.

When I grew up a little more, it occurred to me that I might have been, well, not right about a few things.

Life was a little less simple than I wanted it to be.  And I was a little less able to have it all figured out on my own all the time.  An amazing man introduced me to a God that was a lot different from any version of him I had known about.  A God that was patient.  Unconditional.  Forgiving.  Merciful.  One whose birthday party might be worth attending.

I started to thank Him for the good things in my life.

As I gingerly removed each brick from the wall around my heart, God peeked over the edge at me.  He passed me bits of grace through the gaps.

I could only take so much, then.  But as I learned to receive it, to absorb it, to float in it, I was able to let it flow faster.  I began to lean on Him in the difficult times, and not just expect to get stuff wrapped in pretty paper with sparkling bows.  He taught me how to forgive others.  And myself.

I started to thank Him for the hard things through which we can grow.

And then He gave us two amazing, beautiful, scared teenaged girls.

Two girls who experienced so much more pain and loss in their childhood than I could have handled at twice their age.

There was no JCPenney catalog for them.  If they were lucky, there might be a shoebox from the other side of the world filled with dollar-store trinkets and maybe some socks.  Christmas meant something entirely different to them.

I started to thank Him for the lives that I could change for Him.  

Starting with mine.

Continuing with theirs.

This Christmas, our funny little family that God created in a way that I never could have planned…we are shopping and decorating and singing carols and watching The Grinch.

And we’re saying prayers and thanking God for entrusting us with two beautiful young women, and leaning on His wisdom to teach them how to love His way rather than ours.

They are adopted by us.

James 1:27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

We are adopted by God.

Romans 8:15  So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, “Abba, Father.”

Merry Christmas.

John 3:16 For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

Photo credit: Wishbook (Creative Commons)

Last week, I shared with y’all the beautiful “why” of our adoptions.

Now, I want to show you how five minutes of your time could help thousands of children live a similar love story.

As you may have heard, the Justin-Bieber-popular federal adoption tax credit is scheduled to be drastically cut at the end of this year. Like to $0 for most adoptive families.

Without this credit, many families will not be able to afford the high cost of adopting a child.

Despite your narcoleptic reaction every time you hear the word “legislation,” this is important. Stay awake through the whole thing and I’ll send you a cookie.

Legislation is currently pending before Congress that would reinstate the adoption tax credit and make it permanent (that’s a big deal, y’all). In order to help move this legislation forward, I am encouraging everyone I know (and everyone I don’t know) to contact their reps in the House and Senate about the need for this legislation.

Although you may not have contacted an elected representative in the past (I hadn’t), in the world of the Internet, it’s super simple. Can you read this blog post? Then you can e-mail a Senator.

Really.

You can easily send an e-mail to all of your elected officials in 5 minutes or less. Here’s how:

1. Click here to go to Contacting The Congress website
2. Enter your zip code to identify your elected representatives in the House and Senate
3. Click on the “Contact Form” link
4. Complete the top part of the web form with your name, address, etc.
5. Within the “Topic” drop-down box, click on the “Tax” or “Legislative” option (they all seem to be a little different, so pick the closest one)
6. Copy and paste the statement below into the “Message” section of the web form
7. If you’d like, customize the message to further explain why you personally support adoption (this is optional)
8. Click “Send”

Repeat steps 3-8 for each of your elected representatives.

Then forward this post to any family or friends who believe that bringing orphaned children into a loving home should be encouraged. You can even use the handy-dandy email button below (if you’re reading on the web, it’s the last one. with the little @ sign on it. it’s not there because I think it’s cute. use it.).

Thank you for taking a few minutes to help support kids and families.

Now let me know where to send your cookie.

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As a constituent and a supporter of childhood adoption, I’m writing to urge your support for the adoption tax credit, which is set to expire on December 31, 2012.

Since 1997, the adoption tax credit has helped tens of thousands of parents offset the high cost of adoption, making it possible for them to provide children with loving, permanent families of their own.

If Congress doesn’t take action to extend or make permanent the adoption tax credit, parents adopting children with special needs will see their maximum allowable tax credit reduced to $6,000, and all other adoptive parents will be ineligible for any tax credit at all. Without the adoption tax credit, many parents who are otherwise willing to adopt will be unable to do so without great financial hardship, and others will not be able to adopt at all.

The adoption tax credit will need to be extended in order to help as many children as possible realize the love and permanency they both need and deserve. Bills have been introduced this year in both the House (HR 4373) and Senate (S. 3616) that will accomplish this if they’re enacted into law.

Accordingly, I urge you to support and enact this legislation before the tax credit expires at the end of this year. On behalf of the countless children waiting to be adopted and the many thousands of Indiana families that stand to benefit from the adoption tax credit, thank you for your work on this important issue.

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For more information about the adoption tax credit, click here.

People ask why we adopted.

(I sometimes want to look back at them and ask why they gave birth, but that’s a different post.)

We’ve told the story of how; we’ve told the story of what and where. And you certainly have heard about how the girls have changed our lives.

But I don’t think we’ve ever sufficiently answered why.

It’s simple, really…we fell in love.

For us, adoption wasn’t an answer to infertility, it wasn’t a way to meet a deep unfulfilled yearning to be parents, it wasn’t even through a passion to “save” an orphan.

We just fell in love.

Masha’s path crossed ours a bit unexpectedly. She didn’t have some grand plan of working hard and earning a spot on the trip to America to find a family. She didn’t  even know she was going until a few days before they left.

We didn’t have some grand plan of adoption, either (although my friends tell me I talked about it as a kid–but more as a way to avoid diapers and puke). We didn’t research countries and processess and developmental stages and ages and make choices that decided who got a chance and who didn’t.

God took care of all of that for us.

He worked out all the details for us and dropped Masha at our doorstep, where she froze in terror upon the sight of Simon. Where she said “большои дом” and  ”толстая собака.”  (He’s not fat.  He’s just fluffy. Really.)

God made it easy for us to take that first step, because that’s what each of us could handle.

And then he used experience to transform us.

He strengthened us so that we’d be ready for a bigger challenge. Deeper love. More faithful obedience.

But for us, the reason was always simple. Love.

• Love that went beyond looking at a picture on the refrigerator and sending a check (although we do that too)
• Love that went beyond filling shoeboxes with gifts from the dollar store (although we do that too, too)
• Love that looked us in the eye and said “this is where she’s meant to be”

That’s why we adopted.

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It’s National Adoption Month.

Honestly, I wish adoption didn’t exist.

I wish every child had a safe home with two parents.

Do I think we’ll find that, short of heaven? Probably not. Until then, there will be hardship, there will be war, there will be famine, there will be selfishness and greed. There will be death.

Jesus told us there will be troubles, but He also told us that He will walk beside us.  That He will send an advocate to fill us with His power, and through Him we can do the things He calls us to.

For us, that was adopting.

For you, that might mean something else entirely.

Just make sure it means something.

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What are you called to do that you can’t do on your own? Leave a comment…